"I need to get my ducks in a row, fast."
<Who hasn't said that out loud?>
I know I have...especially during the stupid holiday season.
But now there's help available for less than the cost of two movie tickets on opening night for a 3D action blockbuster and a large popcorn.
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Are your ducks confused?
Do they seem retarded at times; bothering the neighbor's cat or randomly trekking through your herb garden? Have you given up hope of ever seeing the little sonz-a-bitches lined up in a nice even row? Well ease up, Buttercup, 'cause we have a product designed just for you__but it's only available through this special TV offer!
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DO YOU WANT YOUR
DUCKS IN A ROW?
That's right, you can now own the very same tools used by countless Hollywood insiders and corporate CEO's, to get their own personal ducks in a row!
so...what are you waiting for?
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order
DUCKS IN A ROW!
RIGHT NOW!
and never worry about your delicate water fowl again!
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| aaaawww, that's adorable |
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You won't be paying 90 bucks, 80 bills or 70 clams either...
Not $60... not fifty... nor will you even have to fork over a whole 40 dollar bill................. ..................amazingly.................now you can own this remarkable product, for the incredible price of only
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3easy payments of
___$9.99___
Don't spend another day worrying about massive chaos with your feathered swimmers
get DUCKS IN A ROW
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It's only, 3easy payments of
___$9.99___
plus shipping & handling
You'll get everything you need to swiftly have all your DUCKS IN A ROW that first day!
Each kit includes an in-depth, interactive DVD with step by step instructions, a limited edition DUCKS IN A ROW shower curtain set and hours of great duck footage you'll enjoy for years to come!
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| other products sold separately & available in the 2012 DIAR Catalog |
But wait!
THAT'S NOT ALL!
Order in the next 10 minutes and we'll include as a special (one time only) bonus offer!
)))))))))))))))))) EGGS IN ONE BASKET ((((((((((((((((((
Then you need to get your EGGS IN ONE BASKET and say goodbye to the overly redundant repetition of flimsy wicker or (dangerously rusty) steel wire totes!
Just think, you'll be making perfect French Toast or fried eggs in the center of sliced bread with a hole in the middle, the very first day you open your
EGGS IN ONE BASKET
motivational DVD kit!
Be the envy of your friends and family when they see you've finally gotten all your EGGS IN ONE BASKET!
WHAT A TREMENDOUS FEELING; SEEING THEM ENVIOUS!
But the best part is... you can get your EGGS IN ONE BASKET...
absolutely FREE!
...just pay separate shipping and handling, state & local taxes, a modest warehouse charge and a processing fee
BUT hold on!
If you call right this very second and tell the operator the secret password, *QUACK*then we'll knock off ONE entire payment!
YES!!
You can get your DUCKS IN A ROW! along with the EGGS IN ONE BASKET!
BOTH for only 2 easy payments of just $9.99
plus the above mentioned costs as well as a small operator surcharge we'll gladly add to your phone bill as an added convenience for you...
Time is running out!
Order your D.I.A.R. now!
I am a non-attorney, unpaid spokesperson for
the Law Offices of
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Disclaimer:
Not responsible for any ducks in a road nor for any incidents of ducks in a roll.
And care was taken that no ducks were harmed in the making of this infomercial; but one little feller still got run't over by several types of fruit, most notably some loose honeydew, a giant watermelon and two rather bouncy cantaloupes. Our thoughts and prayers are with that duckling's family... may he rest in peach.
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| Dewey, Cheatem & Howe |
